Around my birthday, I always tend to take time to reflect on my life. M and I had a chance to catch up on the phone last night and, as usual, part of our conversation was philosophical.
The concept of having a life's dream came up (oddly enough, it was the third conversation about dreams in the same day). I don't really have a dream, or driving passion. I have felt that for the past ten years my life has been a series of accidents that Fate and Chance have devised for me. Fortune has helped out and my life is pretty good. I still have some issues (and some are pretty big), but overall I'm happy with where I'm at in life.
I turned 28 this year. I'm ten years out from high-school at this point in my life. All I knew of my future ten years ago was that I was going to attend the Univ of Colorado at Boulder, I was going to live with my parents so as to not have to pay room and board, I was going to major in something in engineering (but I wouldn't choose my major for another month), I liked my job, but couldn't make a living at it, and robots were cool.
Robots are cool is as close to a dream as I've ever really had. It's the reason I use when I ask myself why I'm going to graduate school if I don't like school. But, the real reason for grad school? It's expected of me. Robots sent me towards electrical and computer engineering in college and I actually do like my career, but I never dreamed of becoming an electrical engineer.
I went through the ECE program with three guys who've become close friends over the years. We graduated five and a half years ago. Currently, I'm the only one actually interested in the field. One is getting his MBA so he can be a manager; another is going to school to become an actuary, and the third (who hated engineering almost from when I met him) is going to grad school to get a masters in linguistics, which will be a much better fit for him.
Sometimes I wonder is Fortune knows my dream, and is trying to nudge me along that path. I wish she would share it with me.