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Lost and Wandering
I forgot that I used to love this! 
13th-Jul-2006 09:11 am
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Class started again (and like clockwork, I disappeared). Modern Computer Design this time, which means a big part of the course is simulating components with VHDL or Verilog. I did a little of this as part of my undergraduate degree and absolutely loved it! It is kind of like programming hardware and I think it is that hardware aspect that makes me love it.

This class is a follow on to the last class I took. On Monday, the professor mentioned that someone in the class was practically an expert on the subject. And the other five people in the class all said, "Brie." Needless to say, I definitely blushed at that one. I have some basic familiarity both with the simulator we're using and the language, but I'm not an expert. On Wednesday, he gave us back out final exam and term paper from the last class. I did really, really well. So I obviously understand the theory very well. (While I felt I did okay in the class, I didn't expect to do as well as I did (~101%).)

I keep squirming when he points out that I might know something better than he does or that I have experience with something and would be a good person to ask for help. thehula brought something back to my attention the other day. My best friend in college mentioned that I have a couple traits that annoyed the heck out him. That being that I always assume that everyone I know is smarter, better, liked better, etc; and that they know everything I do. It results in a fairly low self-esteem and me having highly critical view of myself. (Not a good thing, and actually fairly odd when you consider that I'm an extremely optimistic person.) When people point out that I know something better than they do, it violates my assumption that I'm the dumb one in the group. Another consequence is that I continually underestimate how I do in things. thehula has started noticing that. I need to start trying to change that thought process and work on the self-esteem a bit. Please beat me around the head when I start going into my "I'm the dumb one" mode.
Comments 
13th-Jul-2006 10:52 pm (UTC)
i do the same thing, with assuming that if i know something, that everyone must know it. it sometimes bites me in the butt, i find, because it can come across to others as "well, duh. everyone knows that." when really it's more "well gee, if i know it, then it must be common knowledge because i'm not that smart."
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